FIRST IMPRESSIONS // Why It's Hard To Make A Good One

You never get a second chance to make a first impression. I find this pressure unbearable, working myself into such a frenzy that it negates any positive that such forethought could have.

People talk emotively of first meetings as if evaluating them using a sixth sense – we talk of good vibes, warm presences - but how much of a person’s emotional response to us can we control? How much is caused by the environment they're in?

A lot of how someone feels about you may initially be stimulated by their surroundings. Social psychologists talk of "excitation transfers" and "misattributions of arousal"; a hilarious experiment from the 70’s shows how this works on first meetings:

“Dutton and Aron had an attractive female experimenter stand at the end of either a scary bridge (which presumably increased participants’ arousal) or a safer bridge. After male participants walked across either bridge, the female experimenter asked them to fill out a survey and gave them her phone number to call if they had any further questions. The dependent variable was to see which group of men was more likely to call the woman. The men who walked across the scary (and arousing) bridge were more likely to call the woman, most likely because they misattributed their arousal from the bridge for arousal (and attraction) for the woman” (PsychWiki)

Of course, you have to cover the First Impression Basics of being clean and presentable, but aside from orchestrating meetings on shaky bridges or under suspended pianos, it’s hard to see what more you can do.

While a good first impression is hard to orchestrate, a really bad one can be secured easily:

• Make a point of wiping your palm on your trousers immediately before shaking people's hands. Even if they’re dry, it’ll trigger the gag reflex of whoever has to shake it. 
• Tell people they’re “different” to what you expected, but refuse to elaborate.
• Eye contact is important; maintain an unblinking direct stare OR find a facial blemish and talk at that.
• Assume all women are pregnant and ask questions relating to their future child until they tell you otherwise.
• Strategically place a drop of yoghurt on your chin and, when they point it out, lick as many parts of your face as possible while avoiding that drop. If they get close enough with their finger, make a lunge to lick that too.
• Go up at the end of every sentence.

In a week, I will arrive in Hong Kong to meet a whole host of people for the very first time. New colleagues, new roomates and (hopefully) some new friends. Cue clammy handshakes and awkward smiles. 

I'll let you know how it goes...

#PFHK